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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134 Yo. Another hot and sunny day passed. I finally opened my laptop after almost 2 weeks. Coincidentally, its been exactly 7 years since I bought it. Its on its last legs and begging me to retire it but I don't have any other option... I wish I could buy a new laptop but I can't. I wasted my time using my mobile . See, I can't work efficiently if I am not in my room and I can't sit in my room because there is only one ac in our home and that's not in my room. I did try my best to work as much as possible. I tried fixing an old song. But every time I export it, I hear pops and crackles. I don't hear anything during the playback in the daw itself. Anyway, I took a nap during the day. Because last night I couldn't sleep properly once again because of my mom snoring. I got my bike fixed and it feels weird lol. Also I got some weird red spots on my face... It was sun burn I think. They disappeared after a while when I wasn't in th...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 204

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 204

Hey yo, another day passed. It was a good day. I played today and let's just say, it didn't go well. But last night, I played 3 matches and survived until the end. I didn't sing during day but I am singing right now. Tomorrow, my mom and several woman from my neighbourhood will go somewhere together.

They say it's a religious place but I can't help but worry. I feel like they are in a cult or something. And i can't ask her to not go. Why? Because who am I to tell her what to do. I am watching a new anime and I have half finished it. That's what I did all day except sleeping and wasting time.

Anyway, that's all for today. Btw, I have come to a realization. I don't hate my mom. I actually hate myself because I am scared that I will not be able to stand on her expectations. I am afraid to disappoint her. That's why I try to not care for her and act like I don't give a damn. So that she doesn't expect anything from me and i can avoid hurting her. That being said, some things she do are genuinely wrong... see ya:)

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