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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134 Yo. Another hot and sunny day passed. I finally opened my laptop after almost 2 weeks. Coincidentally, its been exactly 7 years since I bought it. Its on its last legs and begging me to retire it but I don't have any other option... I wish I could buy a new laptop but I can't. I wasted my time using my mobile . See, I can't work efficiently if I am not in my room and I can't sit in my room because there is only one ac in our home and that's not in my room. I did try my best to work as much as possible. I tried fixing an old song. But every time I export it, I hear pops and crackles. I don't hear anything during the playback in the daw itself. Anyway, I took a nap during the day. Because last night I couldn't sleep properly once again because of my mom snoring. I got my bike fixed and it feels weird lol. Also I got some weird red spots on my face... It was sun burn I think. They disappeared after a while when I wasn't in th...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 320

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 320

Yoo, another day passed. So, it was an okayish day. I completely watched a new series I was watching and now I don't have anything to watch. I am quite bored tbh and I don't feel motivated to do any work because... I never get good results. Even on my videos, I rarely get any views. But, one video keep getting videos even though its not a video I like, smh. Why can't all videos get some views? I want to burn YouTube headquarters... Just kidding, in case someone actually burns them, lol. 

I will be honest, I don't like what I am feeling these days, its hard to describe but... I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to die. But its just that... I feel too tired and I just want to not exist anymore. I feel so jealous of others. Everyone else is living their lives, trying their best, happy and then there's me. I am not normal and I don't like that... Its extremely weird and its been happening moRe and more nowadays. I don't know why. Maybe because living is so tough. Its been like this since last few years. 

Maybe, I need therapy. But I just might end up making my therapist depressed. Not that I can afford one in the first place. Speaking of money, my uncle has reached his destination. Who cares, though, right? Oh, that guy I was talking about yesterday. Actually, I heard that he had a heart attack. He is under 25 and he had a heart attack... Its sad. i wish it was me... Lol. Anyway, see ya:)

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