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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1281

Memoir of the Loser - Day 1281   Yo. Another day passed. It was not an usual day. I ate a looot of oily food today. I guess it's alright since I didn't eat anything during the day and I observed fast on past two days. I worked on my music like every day. My mom and sister went to the temple early in morning but I went later . Still, I had to wake up around one and half hour earlier than my usual time. Its quite cold in the morning. I understand why people have already started wearing jackets and hoodies. But during the day, it can get very warm. My sister had terrible headache through out the day. It could be because of multiple reasons. She woke up early, couldn't take a nap or maybe because she went to the city yesterday and had to navigate through extreme traffic. But I took a long and great nap during the day. I also took some iq tests at night. I have been very curious about my iq. Even though I don't trust them completely, they can give me a rough estimate. The we...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 872

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 872

 Yo. Another horrible day passed. It was the same as past few days. I kept thinking about my past. Just to give you an idea... I had around forty thousand photographs. Thousands of recordings and notes... It hurts. Because they are gone forever. I will probably go crazy. I wish I could go back in time.

Its as if I have lost a loved one. Anyway, weather was bad today. While it was sunny, it was extremely hot and humid. Then out of nowhere, it started raining during the day. I also went to the temple with my sister... Nowadays, I can't even make myself trust God. When I needed him the most, he did nothing.

I really don't know anymore. I can't even sleep properly and staying awake is hard. In fact, my diet has reduced by a lot. My cousin who was gone to another city is back. Apparently, he got sick. At least, his mother says so. I also took a old woman to doctor. She is from my neighborhood.

I keep thinking about that day... If only I had kept backup. If only... Life was starting to feel better. And then... It all came crashing down. I want to just disappear. I don't know if I will ever recover. Because there is no way to bring back what I lost...see ya;(

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