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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134 Yo. Another hot and sunny day passed. I finally opened my laptop after almost 2 weeks. Coincidentally, its been exactly 7 years since I bought it. Its on its last legs and begging me to retire it but I don't have any other option... I wish I could buy a new laptop but I can't. I wasted my time using my mobile . See, I can't work efficiently if I am not in my room and I can't sit in my room because there is only one ac in our home and that's not in my room. I did try my best to work as much as possible. I tried fixing an old song. But every time I export it, I hear pops and crackles. I don't hear anything during the playback in the daw itself. Anyway, I took a nap during the day. Because last night I couldn't sleep properly once again because of my mom snoring. I got my bike fixed and it feels weird lol. Also I got some weird red spots on my face... It was sun burn I think. They disappeared after a while when I wasn't in th...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 872

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 872

 Yo. Another horrible day passed. It was the same as past few days. I kept thinking about my past. Just to give you an idea... I had around forty thousand photographs. Thousands of recordings and notes... It hurts. Because they are gone forever. I will probably go crazy. I wish I could go back in time.

Its as if I have lost a loved one. Anyway, weather was bad today. While it was sunny, it was extremely hot and humid. Then out of nowhere, it started raining during the day. I also went to the temple with my sister... Nowadays, I can't even make myself trust God. When I needed him the most, he did nothing.

I really don't know anymore. I can't even sleep properly and staying awake is hard. In fact, my diet has reduced by a lot. My cousin who was gone to another city is back. Apparently, he got sick. At least, his mother says so. I also took a old woman to doctor. She is from my neighborhood.

I keep thinking about that day... If only I had kept backup. If only... Life was starting to feel better. And then... It all came crashing down. I want to just disappear. I don't know if I will ever recover. Because there is no way to bring back what I lost...see ya;(

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