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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134 Yo. Another hot and sunny day passed. I finally opened my laptop after almost 2 weeks. Coincidentally, its been exactly 7 years since I bought it. Its on its last legs and begging me to retire it but I don't have any other option... I wish I could buy a new laptop but I can't. I wasted my time using my mobile . See, I can't work efficiently if I am not in my room and I can't sit in my room because there is only one ac in our home and that's not in my room. I did try my best to work as much as possible. I tried fixing an old song. But every time I export it, I hear pops and crackles. I don't hear anything during the playback in the daw itself. Anyway, I took a nap during the day. Because last night I couldn't sleep properly once again because of my mom snoring. I got my bike fixed and it feels weird lol. Also I got some weird red spots on my face... It was sun burn I think. They disappeared after a while when I wasn't in th...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 873

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 873

 Yo. Another bad day passed. It was no better than yesterday. I can't get over it. I don't know how many days it has been since i started feeling this way ... Everything reminds me of that time when things were alright. If only I had kept a backup, if only I had not gone to that guy... If only I had trusted myself. 

It hurts. I can't even eat liked I used to. I had throw food during the day because I couldn't eat it. I am not lying. I couldn't sleep. Last night, it took me around and hour to fall asleep and in morning, I woke up and couldn't fall asleep again. I ... Even cried a little. 

Tomorrow is another bad day. It will be 16 years since my dad died. I wish I could just sleep forever. I trusted God and even he betrayed me when I needed him the most. Like I don't know what I did to deserve that. It's been few months and it's hitting me only now. I managed to postpone the pain but now... It's killing me.

I think I have fever. I don't know the reason. There are floods happening near my city and here I am... Crying over lost data. I know it's stupid but it was not just data to me... If I could go back in time, I would stop myself no matter what from going to that shop. I will curse him till I die. See ya;(

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