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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134 Yo. Another hot and sunny day passed. I finally opened my laptop after almost 2 weeks. Coincidentally, its been exactly 7 years since I bought it. Its on its last legs and begging me to retire it but I don't have any other option... I wish I could buy a new laptop but I can't. I wasted my time using my mobile . See, I can't work efficiently if I am not in my room and I can't sit in my room because there is only one ac in our home and that's not in my room. I did try my best to work as much as possible. I tried fixing an old song. But every time I export it, I hear pops and crackles. I don't hear anything during the playback in the daw itself. Anyway, I took a nap during the day. Because last night I couldn't sleep properly once again because of my mom snoring. I got my bike fixed and it feels weird lol. Also I got some weird red spots on my face... It was sun burn I think. They disappeared after a while when I wasn't in th...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 875

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 875

 Another terrible day passed. A lot of things happened. Last night, I could barely sleep. My heart was racing and my bp was low. It didn't feel too great. It hurt. I went to the doctor and he gave me medicine. I had fever, high blood pressure and my heart beat was indeed very high.

My sister went to the University to give her viva. It went well. I don't even feel like eating anything. So, I didn't ask her to bring something for me. I couldn't sleep even during the day. I can't sit in my room alone. It's terrible. That's what depression feels like...

But my family thinks it's because of eating oily and fast food... They know nothing. I went to another doctor in evening and he gave me medicine. When I came back home... I couldn't control myself and ended up crying in front of my family. It was embarassing but I could not do anything to control myself.

I don't know what to do. This pain is not going away. I don't know for how long I can endure it. I keep replaying the same thing in my mind over and over again...Thanks to medicine, I feel sleepy now. Anyway, see ya;(

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