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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1281

Memoir of the Loser - Day 1281   Yo. Another day passed. It was not an usual day. I ate a looot of oily food today. I guess it's alright since I didn't eat anything during the day and I observed fast on past two days. I worked on my music like every day. My mom and sister went to the temple early in morning but I went later . Still, I had to wake up around one and half hour earlier than my usual time. Its quite cold in the morning. I understand why people have already started wearing jackets and hoodies. But during the day, it can get very warm. My sister had terrible headache through out the day. It could be because of multiple reasons. She woke up early, couldn't take a nap or maybe because she went to the city yesterday and had to navigate through extreme traffic. But I took a long and great nap during the day. I also took some iq tests at night. I have been very curious about my iq. Even though I don't trust them completely, they can give me a rough estimate. The we...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 877

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 877

 Hey. It was not a great day again. I wasted another day. I just don't feel like doing anything. Its not my fault. I keep crying over the past... If only I had not gone to that guy, everything would have been alright. I... can only blame myself. It is quite literally eating me alive.

Up until evening, it was terrible. I am constantly low on energy. I feel weak and lethargic. But then, I felt a little energetic... Only for a while. I ate popcorn and chocolate today... My family really thinks that I am 'sick'. I can't tell them the truth because they won't understand.

Anyway, I also got a community guideline strike on one of my songs but it got resolved pretty quickly. YouTube thought that I was promoting self harm... Smh. I don't have that much courage. Speaking of courage, I see the protests going on in my neighbouring country and I wish I was there... so that I could leave this world sooner. 

I wonder for how long I will last considering the kind of thoughts I am having aren't really great. See ya;(

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