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Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 1134 Yo. Another hot and sunny day passed. I finally opened my laptop after almost 2 weeks. Coincidentally, its been exactly 7 years since I bought it. Its on its last legs and begging me to retire it but I don't have any other option... I wish I could buy a new laptop but I can't. I wasted my time using my mobile . See, I can't work efficiently if I am not in my room and I can't sit in my room because there is only one ac in our home and that's not in my room. I did try my best to work as much as possible. I tried fixing an old song. But every time I export it, I hear pops and crackles. I don't hear anything during the playback in the daw itself. Anyway, I took a nap during the day. Because last night I couldn't sleep properly once again because of my mom snoring. I got my bike fixed and it feels weird lol. Also I got some weird red spots on my face... It was sun burn I think. They disappeared after a while when I wasn't in th...
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Memoir of the Loser - Day 877

 Memoir of the Loser - Day 877

 Hey. It was not a great day again. I wasted another day. I just don't feel like doing anything. Its not my fault. I keep crying over the past... If only I had not gone to that guy, everything would have been alright. I... can only blame myself. It is quite literally eating me alive.

Up until evening, it was terrible. I am constantly low on energy. I feel weak and lethargic. But then, I felt a little energetic... Only for a while. I ate popcorn and chocolate today... My family really thinks that I am 'sick'. I can't tell them the truth because they won't understand.

Anyway, I also got a community guideline strike on one of my songs but it got resolved pretty quickly. YouTube thought that I was promoting self harm... Smh. I don't have that much courage. Speaking of courage, I see the protests going on in my neighbouring country and I wish I was there... so that I could leave this world sooner. 

I wonder for how long I will last considering the kind of thoughts I am having aren't really great. See ya;(

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