Memoir of the Loser - Day 917

Yo. Another day passed. So, most people celebrated Diwali today but we didn't. Most people from this village didn't while most people from my country did. But some people are burning fire crackers. Not me though. I will be honest. I want to but I don't have money.

And I don't wanna ask from anyone. I have become quite good at killing my desires. I messaged my best friend and thankfully, he hasn't blocked me yet. Last night, i found something bad... Few months ago, I didn't upload a document while filling out my exam form. 

I didn't have it then but I got it made several days later hoping that I would be able to edit my exam form now. But guess what? I can't. Not only that, it turns out my cousin actually filled wrong details because keeping that empty would have caused my exam form to get rejected.

Now,I am worried that my result wont be declared. And if it does... I won't get anything. The laws of this country make me angry so much sometimes. I also saw my 12th grade's marksheet and it brought back some bad memories. And then, i had dreams about that last night,lol.

I also had a dream where a woman from my neighbourhood died. It was so random. I posted on my blog finally. I hope I can stay consistent. I did some physical labour as well... And thanks to that, my hands have calluses and it hurts a little. I am glad that I don't talk to anyone from this family because they keep doing things that make me mad.

Today, my mom brought someone into my room. She knows I hate that! But instead of admitting her fault, she defend herself and somehow made it seem like I was wrong. I am so tired of them. The only good was that I ate noodles and they were tasty. But also very spicy. My pants haven't arrived. I didn't expect them to come. Anyway, that's all for today. I keep having thoughts of my data and it's hard to keep them under control... 

Even festivals don't feel special anymore. I don't know why I expected anything different in the first place. See ya;)